A Matter of Fiction
by TantalumCobolt
Summary: In which Clint is more well-read than anyone at SHIELD cares to think and he and Natasha have inside jokes abound. [A collection of one-shots.]
1. The Suicide Shop

**AN: So this started because I read an amazing fic about Clint being an author and then I started thinking about Clint loving to read but nobody expecting it because most of SHIELD doesn't look past his background in the circus. Then my muse started talking about Natasha and Clint using that to their advantage and having inside jokes and codes which they use on missions. A few weeks of mulling this idea over and I finally started putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).**

 **This is just a series of one-shots which are unconnected unless specified otherwise. At this stage, each chapter is themed around a particular book and I am happy to take requests for particularly books :)** **Without further ado... Happy reading!**

* * *

"I like to read," Clint tells the psychologist with a shrug. Which, yeah, probably a mistake, he realises a second later, because it's going to lead to the inevitable question of-

"Oh? What kind of things do you like to read?"

And that question, in this office, from the woman who's supposed to be clearing him for field work, makes Clint cringe. The answer is simple enough: dark humour, satire, existentialist texts. Y'know... all that depressing kind of stuff that will probably make SHIELD reevaluate his mental health.

(Is that how this works? He really should have paid more attention to Coulson's explanation...)

"Just... stuff," he says vaguely. Smooth, real smooth.

The psychiatrist - what was her name again? He missed that in all his protesting that "thanks but no thanks, Coulson, I don't need a shrink"... oh, wait, name tag. Of course. Doctor Sykes - arches an eyebrow. Yeah, evasive answers is definitely getting an N.B. in his file.

"No favourite genre? Author?" Her lips tilt upwards as she adds a wry: "Publishing house?"

When in doubt: shrug. "I like Orwell."

Nice, respectable author. Nothing too suspicious about an answer like that... right? Wait, where _does_ SHIELD stand on communism?

Dr Sykes taps the edge of her pen against her chin. "And what are you reading now?"

"Uh..." Oh, to hell with it, he thinks, it's a book. She can't fail him because of a stupid book... Wait, could she? Oh shit probably should have asked Coulson what exactly the passing standards are. "It's a book by a French guy, called The Suicide Shop. You probably haven't heard of it..."

The psychologist "hmm"s as she jots that down on the notepad in front of her. "Good read?"

Clint shrugs. Not the best book he's ever read (and, contrary to the current stakes in the betting pool, he's read a lot) but: "It's... amusing."

"Perhaps you'd like to lend it to me?"

Yeah, no. He doesn't do the whole lending books thing, not unless it's someone he trusts, and he sure as hell doesn't trust any SHIELD psychologist. They could lose it. Or damage it. Or... well the possibilities are endless!

"So... can I go now?" He asks, shifting uncomfortably in the faux-comfortable fake leather chair. "R&D wanted me to test a new bow and if I don't get time tonight Coulson'll make me wait until after the op..."

Dr Sykes smiles. It's surprisingly nice, pleasant, kind, almost motherly. "Actually, we haven't even started yet. My stupid computer takes light years to reboot these days..." She glares at the monitor. It states placidly back. "I promise it'll be quick though, okay? Twenty minutes tops."

Clint doesn't reply, just sinks back into his chair with a muttered "oh".

(The session goes well, he's passed for field work (thank god, he was starting to go stir crazy stuck on base), and two days after returning from the first op he finds a package in his mail slot. It's a stack of books, with a note attached in the psychologist's familiar handwriting: _Couldn't find any Orwell, but you might enjoy these._ )

Natasha has her first psych consult to determine the risk of sending her out into the field three days after Hawkeye - Barton, Clint, whatever... the guy saved her life, she should probably start calling him by his name - brings her in. She sits in the fake leather chair, stiff and proper, eyes focused straight ahead, handcuffed wrists held loosely in her lap (she could get out out of them but that's not the point; they're only on to test whether they can trust her not to attempt escape). The psychologist - Dr Sykes - smiles at her.

"Agent Romanoff," she greets, then gives an embarrassed little laugh. "Oh, sorry, am I supposed to call you that yet? It's so hard to keep track of who's what these days..."

"Agent Romanoff is fine," Natasha responds carefully. She's not sure whether it is - technically she's not a SHIELD agent yet - but it's got a nice ring to it so whatever, Fury can deal.

Dr Sykes nods, reaching out to hit a button on her computer monitor before folding her arms and turning to the lethal weapon - agent, not weapon, not anymore - across from her. "So, Agent Romanoff, do you read much?"

Natasha hesitates, eyes flicking to he still-black computer screen. "Not as much as I'd like," she allows. "More so recently."

After all, there isn't much else to do in a SHIELD cell.

"That's wonderful." Somehow, it doesn't sound fake or mocking. "What do you like to read? What are you reading at the moment?"

Natasha shrugs. She likes Russian literature, mostly, but that's only because it was all she'd had growing up and once she started branching off into freelance there wasn't much time for reading. But Barton had given her a book her first night in the cell which was... amusing. Mildly.

"I just read a book called The Suicide Shop," she tells Dr Sykes, absently wondering if that title is going to raise red flags in her file.

To her surprise, the psychologist chuckles. "Barton?" she asks with an eye roll.

Natasha nods cautiously.

"Has he given you Orwell yet?"

"I read Animal Farm," the redhead says carefully. This whole session is... confusing. This is not how she believed psych meetings were supposed to go. "I'm only halfway through Ninteen Eighty-Four."

The psychologist smiles again. It's... well, she wants to say disconcerting, but the Black Widow is far above such trivial feelings as that. "That's his favourite," the doctor advised. "I'm sure he'll talk your ear off about Orwell's predictions of the future once you've finished it."

(He does. She finds she doesn't mind. She even manages to find a first edition for his birthday five months later.)

"Yes, I've read The Suicide Shop. Yes, I found it amusing. No, we are not starting a cult." Coulson opens with when Dr Sykes slips into his office to deliver reports on Barton and Romanoff.

The psychologist just blinks at him, then nods slowly. "Okay," she agrees. "I've read it too... In fact, I recommended it to Dr Taylor as well. It is amusing.

They share looks of dawning horror.

"Oh god," Coulson moans. "We _are_ starting a cult."

As she's walking by the Director's office a week later, Dr Sykes hears the unmistakable sounds of chuckling. Cautiously, wary of being caught loitering, she presses her face against the glass.

Nick Fury is sitting back in his chair, feet kicked up, a book in his hands.

Nick Fury is smiling.

Nick Fury is laughing.

(No points for guessing what he's reading...)

By the time the next wave of recruits walk through the doors of SHIELD for the first time, someone - it's still unclear exactly who the culprit is, but the betting pool says Barton - has managed to slip a copy of The Suicide Shop into each of their required reading packets.

(Junior Agent Cobb leans over to Junior Agent Maxwell in the middle of a seminar and whispers "Good book right? But can we talk about that ending...?" and Coulsom bites his lip to stop himself from joining in the discussion and tell them to be quiet instead.)

Only two of the hand selected junior agents don't find it amusing. Coincidentally, they don't make it past basic training.


	2. Required Reading

**AN: Thanks to a review by OneShot1995 for giving me the idea for this chapter :) I am happy to take any and all suggestions for other books / scenes you'd like to see.**

 **Also, a guest asked about the fic I read about Clint being an author. It was called The Woman in the Crosshairs and can be found over on AO3.**

* * *

There's a package waiting for him after he's been escorted back to base and shown to a room. It's tall and thick, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. There's a small white card tucked under the messy bow on top.

 ** _To fill in the gaps. -CB_**

Steve doesn't know who CB is (doesn't know who anyone is these days) and a quick glance around the plain, military-esque quarters reveals no answers. He shrugs and tugs on the string. The paper is held in place by a single piece of tape on the bottom and once he rips that off it falls away to reveal a stack of books.

 _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ is on top, the plain orange cover partially hidden by a piece of folded paper. Another note, Steve muses as he gingerly picks it up and opens it.

 ** _There are two things you need to know:_**

 ** _1\. George Orwell is basically God and you should treat his books like slightly insane bibles._**

 ** _2\. I recommend reading them in the order they're stacked. That way if shit hits the fan before your reculturing is complete then at least you'll have read the best ones._**

 ** _Happy reading. -CB_**

Steve frowns at the note then at the innocent looking stack of books. They seem harmless enough, and he needs some way to kill the time until his meeting with Fury at 1500, so why not? If his mysterious note-writer is as in love with Orwell as he/she sounds then he may as well see what it's all about...

He means to ask Fury who CB is but it slips his mind during their meeting. It would seem that this new world is just as messed up as the one he left behind, and in not-so-different ways, and it takes every ounce of his superhuman strength to just sit there and listen to what he's privately been calling 'The Last Seventy Years in Seventy Minutes'.

By the time he gets back to his room, he feels mentally drained and more alone than ever. Without the company of any of his friends to fill the void, he settles back against the wall, opens Nineteen Eighty-Four to where he left off, and tries to forget the world (both past and present) for a while.

* * *

In his opinion, Catch 22 isn't as good as Nineteen Eighty-Four. It's sill enjoyable, sure, and more than a little amusing, but it's also ridiculous to the point of unbelievable. Then again, it probably isn't supposed to be. Plus, he's a WWII science experiment who was frozen in the ice for seventy years and is somehow alive and in the twenty-first century, so he can't really talk about believable...

He finishes Catch 22 just after midnight a week after he wakes up from the ice. After seventy years of it, sleep isn't his favourite thing to do, but he knows that, super soldier or not, he can only last so long without it. But it's not the actual act of sleeping, so much as the moments beforehand, when he lies awake and feels so desperately alone, that torment him the most. Reading is a good distraction, but it only lasts until the last page is turned.

When he sets the book aside and flicks off the lamp, the image of WWII bombers and death still circles in his mind. He wishes winning the war and defeating Hydra was as easy as moving a ribbon on a map.

(But if wishes were horses...)

He dreams of Bucky and snow and fire and Peggy and all the other Howling Commandos trapped behind enemy lines. But it's not all as dark and terrifying as his dreams for the last week (or months, really, not including the seventy year gap) have been; there's an air of ridiculousness that overshadows even the bleakest moments, driving the darkness to the edges, and Steve wakes feeling more rested than usual.

* * *

He almost skips The Suicide Shop purely because of its name. But he opens it out of curiosity anyway and finds another note note inside the cover, scrawled in untidy blue biro as though it was a last minute thought.

 ** _I realised you might need something a little lighthearted after the first two. Try not to laugh too loudly, it scares the newbies. -CB_**

Lighthearted sounds good so Steve shrugs and thinks 'what the hell?'. He refills his coffee (even though it tastes like bitter mud) and settles into one of the couches in the break room on the floor where his assigned quarters are.

For the most part, he restrains his laughter to the occasionally chuckle - he's not even sure _why_ it's funny, it just is - but that seems to be enough to send most of the junior agent's who come in search caffeine scuttling away. The Suicide Shop only takes him an hour to read, but in that time he has uninterrupted quiet in the usually noise-filled break room.

* * *

The Quiet American quickly slides up the list to take place as his favourite of the many books he's been devouring under the advice of the still-unknown CB. He's hooked from the moment he starts reading and he can't put it down until the mystery is solved. Of all the things he'd expected, the way it ended wasn't one of them.

Fury had caught him reading it while he waited to be called into his office the day before and the Director had just shaken his head and muttered something about hawks. "Good book?" he'd asked with a knowing look that reminded Steve just a little of Peggy.

"Yes, sir," he'd responded, marking his page and tucking it inside his jacket.

SHIELD's one-eyed, all-knowing Director had smiled a secret not-quite-smile and nothing more about the subject of literature had been said.

* * *

The Handmaid's Tale leaves him wanting to know more while The Unbearable Lightness of Being leaves him wondering whether he knows anything at all. Steve returns them to the shelf he's christened as his 'Everything I Missed' library and brushes searching fingers over the spines until he finds the one he wants to read next: To Kill A Mockingbird.

He gets halfway through it before shit hits the fan.

* * *

CB remains a mystery until they're sitting amongst the ruins of a restaurant eating shwarma post the Battle of New York. Steve catches a glimpse of the initials carved into the bottom of Hawkeye's quiver when he take it off to collapse into a chair beside his partner.

"Hawkeye..." the super soldier begins.

The other man glances up at him. "Barton," he corrects.

"Barton," Steve agrees with a nod, then, "Thanks."

Barton's brow furrows as he puzzles over that, but it doesn't take him long to follow the super aoldier's gaze to his quiver and from there it's takes less than a around to connect the dots. He nods back, giving the Captain a small smile.

"You're welcome. And, um, if you ever want any more..."

"I know where to come."

Romanoff is the only other one at the table who seems to understand the exchange. She gives Steve one of her rare meaningful smiles before turning to fuss over her injured partner. Barton grumbles that he's fine even as he tweaks her short red hair and calls her Anna, which elicits a fond eyeroll and a swift retort in Russian.

Stark is charming the restaurant's owner's, Banner looks half-asleep, and Thor is watching Barton and Romanoof with a confused, but intrigued, frown. Right now, the world is once again safe and everyone appears to be okay.

Steve leans back in his chair and wonders whether Atticus Finch will win Tom Robinson's case.


End file.
